Ecclesiastes 6 & 7

***Ecclesiastes 6***

Back in 2002 I was lucky enough to go build houses in Fiji with Habitat for Humanity. Preparing for the trip was a long process. I had to raise money, get shots and get a passport. But what I couldn't prepare for was the way the trip was going to change me. I knew that I was going to be in a village with some of the poorest people in the world, and I was going to feel sorry for them for the rest of my life.

Then I went. And I was right, the people were very poor. The water they drank was rain collected from their corrugated steel roof. But they had something that Americans don't... real community. Every night they would gather as a family to eat dinner, sing songs and tell stories. The same way that their family had done everyday for generations and generations... aunts, uncles, moms, dads, grandparents, kids... everyday.

When I left Fiji, I wasn't feeling sorry for them, but I was feeling sorry for us. I love my family... but I don't get to see them very often. I live in Texas, my sister lives in Atlanta, and my other sister and parents live near Detroit. I have an uncle in Denver, an aunt in Memphis, cousins in Orlando, San Francisco, Pittsburgh, Denver, Minneapoils, North Carolina and Memphis... and a whole bunch of family still in Detroit. We have lived so far apart for so long that some have become like strangers to me.

They have nothing, but they are happy because they have each other. We have big TV's, big houses and big cars... we have wealth, posessions and honor...but in the end who really has more?

***Ecclesiastes 7***

"It is better to heed the rebuke of a wise person than to listen to the song of fools."

When I worked for Chrysler, my territory was Vermont, Maine and New Hampshire and my office was in Boston. I traveled a lot around the northeast and met a ton of good people. I noticed that the people who live in the northeast are different than the people who live in the south, they are more blunt.

People in the south are gentle and kind. People in the northeast are honest and blunt. I read a book by Ernie Harwell, he was the longtime voice of the Detroit Tigers and he was from Georgia. He wrote in his book that it was more important to be kind than it was to be right.

The truth is, we like people to say what we want to hear... even if its not the truth. Often times, we don't want to hear the truth, we don't want to know what someone is really thinking because it might hurt our feelings. Often times we mistake the truth for meanness.

But in the end, all that matters is the truth. Studies have shown that divorce rates are much lower in the northeast than they are in the south. The only communication that matters in marriages and in life is the truth. (There is no evidence that people in the northeast tell the truth more often than people in the south, it is only my experience and I realize I am painting with a really broad brush and divorce rates may have nothing to do with anything, but it's my blog and I think it's an interesting point)

If we tell people only what they want to hear then we are playing the role of the fool. And if we only listen to what we want to hear then we are a fool.

Don't play the fool and don't let yourself be fooled. Instead tell the truth in love and demand others to do the same for you. Otherwise, communication is meaningless.

See you on Tuesday!