For Hilary, and anyone else who has lost a friend.

A couple weeks ago my friend Hilary was riding a tandem bicycle with her boyfriend Rob when they were struck by a pick-up truck. Rob was pronounced dead and Hilary was taken to the hospital. My assumption was that Hilary has been recovering in the days that have passed since the accident; I guess ignorance is bliss. The truth, as I read last night on Facebook, is that she hasn’t recovered and last night she, it’s hard to even write it, last night she died.

I first met Hilary when I working as a counselor at Stony Lake Lutheran Camp in the summer of 1999. She was tall and loud, just like me. She was on crutches which made it hard for her to get around camp, but she never stopped smiling. She came back to camp in the summer of 2000, and it seemed like she never left. I think she was at camp for 6 or 7 weeks that summer. I got to know her as more than just a camper, but as a friend. Our paths crossed a number of times since then, and she would always greet me with a smile and say, “Hi friend!”

But now she is gone and it sucks.

It sucks because her life, which she lived to the fullest, was cut short.

It sucks because she was a good person who was just riding her bike.

It sucks because I didn’t know Rob at all, but if Hilary loved him, he must have been an awesome guy.

It sucks because she was working as a Youth Director and using her God-given gifts to change lives.

It sucks because I can’t remember the last time that I talked her. We lost touch a few years ago, which was probably my fault, and now we can never re-connect. I used to have her phone number, but somehow lost it over the years. Somehow, we weren’t even Facebook friends anymore.

It sucks because I can never make up for being a bad friend.

It sucks because I assumed she was doing better and stopped praying for her.

It sucks because I didn’t and couldn’t do anything to help.

It sucks because I never got to say “Goodbye friend.”

It sucks because it hurts.

It sucks because it sucks.

I feel like I should be comforted knowing that she is in heaven. I should tell myself that “I will see her again someday as we all gather for a campfire in a place far more beautiful than Stony Lake,” (if such a place can even be imagined.) I should try to learn from this and become a better person, a better friend.

But I’m not ready for any of that. I’m not ready to be comforted. I’m not ready to be over it. I want to stay sad for a little while; I want to stay angry, because it sucks.

Hosea 1

Verse 2: "When the Lord began to speak through Hosea, the Lord said to him, 'Go, marry a promiscuous woman and have children with her, for like an adulterous wife this land is guilty of unfaithfulness to the Lord.'”

I was at dinner last night with a friend who is getting married soon. He told us how he proposed to his fiancé and how he can't wait to be married. It was easy to see love in his eyes as he shared his romantic story. He's excited because love is exciting.

This verse from Hosea is not very exciting. This verse is actually pretty disturbing. God commands Hosea to marry a promiscuous woman because Israel has been unfaithful. Hosea will be stuck with a wife that will cheat on him, because that's what God wants. God wants Hosea to know what it feels like to be betrayed and miserable. I wonder if God made a deal with him, maybe something like; "I know your life is going to be miserable, but you'll get a book of the Bible named after you."

Hosea marries a woman named Gomer and they have a couple kids who are given names (by God) that when translated mean "not loved" and "not my people." Can you imagine naming your child "not loved"? Every time they heard their name they would be reminded that they weren't loved. That's the worst name a child could ever be given.

At this point I want to ask "how is ruining Hosea's life and the lives of his children going to make God feel better?" But I think that would be missing the point.

We all, like Gomer, turn from the love of God. We all say and do things that are hurtful. At times in our lives we are unlovable, every day we could change our name to "sinner."

Yet God looks at us, His children, and calls us "precious," "holy" and  "beloved." That's exciting!

Luke 24

The resurrected Jesus meets two people walking on the road to Emmaus. He asked them what they were talking about. One of them, Cleopas, responded, “Are you the only one visiting Jerusalem who does not know the things that have happened there in these days?” (Verse 18)

Jesus was crucified during the Festival of Passover. There were millions of Jewish pilgrims that were in Jerusalem at the time. Apparently the news of Jesus’ death and resurrection had spread throughout the whole city. This was before the internet, television, and the telephone. Everyone was talking about what happened! This news was worth talking about.

It must have brought Jesus incredible joy to know that people were talking about him; they were telling his story.

An innocent man was killed. Three days later he was back alive! That is crazy news. If that happened today, everyone in the world would be talking about it. Every television station would be talking about Jesus and fighting for a chance to interview him.  

Just because it happened 2,000 years ago, doesn’t make it any less real; it doesn’t make it any less newsworthy.

This story is still worth telling.

Luke 23

Jesus went before Pilate, but Pilate sent him to Herod since Jesus was from Galilee. Herod was excited to meet Jesus, but found no reason to punish him, so he sent him back to Pilate. Finally Pilate decided to have Jesus crucified.

This back and forth must have been exhausting for Jesus, but Herod and Pilate actually got something out of it; they became friends! “That day Herod and Pilate became friends—before this they had been enemies.” (Verse 12)

I will always remember the day that my wife and I made the seating chart for our wedding reception. We tried our best to put people together that might have something in common with each other. Family was easy, but putting friends together was a challenge. Some of it was easy, my college friends sat at one table, my old work friends sat at another, and my seminary friends were at another. But then it got challenging.

People naturally get along with other people when they share a common interest. My best friendships have either started over a common interest in sports or in God.

I don’t have any friendships that started over a common enemy. But I don’t think these kind of friendships are uncommon. Hate groups are the easiest example of this, but even the United States and Russia got along in the 1940’s while they were fighting Hitler. I think that politics is full of this today. People are joining parties not for what they believe, but for who or what they are against.

That being said, the crucifixion of Jesus has to be the worst reason to start a friendship in the history of friendships. The common interest they share is the love of power and doing anything necessary to keep it.

Jesus was killed because two men wanted to stay in power over people.

Jesus was killed because Adam and Eve wanted the power that comes with knowledge.

Jesus was killed because we want power over our lives.

We all need forgiveness; maybe the crucifixion of Jesus is actually the best reason to start a friendship.  

 

Luke 22

Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane waiting to be betrayed and arrested. He prayed to the Father, “Take this cup from me.” (Verse 42) Jesus didn’t want to do this.

In life we are asked to do things we don’t want to do. We are asked by our loved ones, by the people we work for and by our friends. Sometimes we say “no”, but other times we are stuck doing it.

Sometimes we are asked by God, and saying “no” is not an option. My call to ministry was a lot like that. I told God “no” for a couple years, but God won in the end. God always wins in the end. 

Jesus knew what he had to do. In my Matthew 26 blog I wrote about how love motivated Jesus to follow through. In this chapter we find out where he received the strength to finish the job. “An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him.” (Verse 43)

Jesus needed help. Jesus needed strength. Jesus needed an angel.

I have heard stories where people are certain that an angel has come to them in their time of need. I don’t know that I have ever come in contact with an angel. I don’t know whether there is one guarding me right now or not. I don’t really know what I think about angels.

Jesus believed in angels. An angel announced his birth to a young Mary. Angels tended to him after he was tempted in the wilderness. And an angel gave him the strength that he needed to die with love and forgiveness in his heart, instead of hate.

Maybe angels can help us love more and hate less. Maybe angels can give us the strength to do what we think is impossible. Maybe angels are with us every day.

If Jesus needed angels, Lord knows we do too!

Luke 21

“As Jesus looked up, he saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. ‘Truly I tell you,’ he said, ‘this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.’” (Verses 1 – 4)

A friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer about a year ago. She had already battled the same cancer more than 10 years, but now that she has gotten a little older, wasn’t sure how the battle would go. Then came the crushing news from doctors; the prognosis was worse than expected; probably just a couple months. 

A couple months later our church ran a capital campaign to raise funds for our new home. As a congregation we prayed together, ate together, and dreamed together. Then we asked our members to make a three year financial pledge to our building project.

My friend came up and made her pledge. She has been a widow for a very long time. I wouldn’t classify her as “poor,” but she is certainly not wealthy. I have no idea what she pledged, but I know that it made God happy. 

Not only did she make a pledge to give, she pledged to give for three years! She was not going to let cancer control her faith.

A couple weeks later, my friend returned to the doctor. To her surprise, and the surprise of the doctor, the cancer had vanished.

I wish there was a formula to follow to guarantee a miracle like the one my friend received. I know a lot of faithful people that have believed God would heal them, and it just didn’t happen in this life. And I don’t know that my friend will live to finish the three years; but I know what I have seen.

She gave what she could, and God gave her life.  

Luke 20

The Sadducees have a question for Jesus. They give an example of a woman who, because she is widowed six times, dies after having seven husbands. They ask, “In the resurrection, therefore, whose wife will she be?” (Verse 33)

Actually, this scenario was not uncommon back then. Well, having seven husbands might have been a stretch, but many women had more than one. It was Jewish law that if a man died, his brother would marry the widow. The purpose of the law was to protect the family property.

Jesus replied, ““The people of this age marry and are given in marriage. But those who are considered worthy of taking part in the age to come and in the resurrection from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage.” (Verses 34 – 35)

I love my wife Michelle more than words can say, and my love for her grows every day. She is my best friend. This verse saddens me. I don’t think heaven will be heaven if we are not there together, as a family. Well, it definitely won’t be the heaven that I picture in my dreams.

That’s exactly the point Jesus is trying to make.

Heaven is not going to be like we imagine it. We cannot think of heaven in earthly terms, because it is going to be different than what we know; it is going to be better than what we know.

Nothing will be the same in heaven as it is on earth, except an abundance of love.

Which is why I have to believe that I’ll be with Michelle in heaven. We may not be married anymore, but we will still be best friends and our love for each other will continue to grow. Maybe we can sing next to each other in a choir of angels.

I have no idea what heaven will be like, but it is going to be wonderful.

As long as it will have Jesus and Michelle.